Sex therapy is catching on in couples counseling, and it’s time

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Some “renegades” in the field of couples therapy bring sex into the counseling, The New York Times reports. Even if couple therapy and sex talk may seem like obvious bed-mates, discussions of sex have often been counterintuitively absent in dating consultations. This may be explained by the fact that the two areas, couple counseling and sexual counseling, developed as completely different strains, which means that the overlap between them was limited. Often, relationship counselors often have no sexual training because they there is currently no requirement for sex education in traditional counseling licenses. And the opportunities to receive sexual training are limited. According to The New York Times the “is only a certification program for sex therapists, the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Counselors, which means aspiring sex therapists may find it difficult to access classes and supervisors. “

But luckily, the increased recognition of the importance of sex in relationships can help change that. Some therapists “now emphasize the importance of good sexuality in relationships and sometimes suggest the radical idea that couples fix sex before tackling other issues“. It makes me so happy. I’ve said before that I don’t think sexual satisfaction should be something that you are forced to compromise on in a relationship, but so often it’s put aside as n ‘not being as important, and you “feel dirty or nympho if you stress it as a priority for you. But not only is this important in and of itself, your sex life doesn’t exist in isolation – it’s often a microcosm or a reflection of your relationship as a whole and it’s finally starting to be recognized.

So, who are the new sons that are being promoted to couple counseling?

1. More holistic views of business

Cheating for some is the end of everything. And yes, in some cases it is a sign of issues that you just can’t get over. But that’s just it – it’s a manifestation of other issues in the relationship, and sometimes you can get over it. Esther Perel, author of Captive mating, points out that “an affair is an act of betrayal and also an experience of expansion and growth … it is relationship trauma, but it is not a crime. The family can often come out stronger and more resilient, and often an affair will pull the couple from a place of death. “

2. More flexible definitions of monogomy

Dr Tammy Nelson is the author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity and don’t believe we should limit our idea of ​​monogamy to the literal definition. Instead, she wants a flexible definition, that’s basically what the couple want, but they both need to be okay and comfortable. Then that can include anything – threesomes, free vacation passes, whatever couples like. She says: “I describe monogamy as an honest and lifelong addiction of a certain type … It can be anything a couple wants, but it has to be smooth and flexible and the couple has to keep renewing it, like a license.

3. More sexual positivity and inclusion

Psychologist and sex therapist Margie Nichols, has long been aimed at gay, lesbian, transgender and perverse communities, as well as more heterosexual couples. His take is “GGG,” which is not from Freud’s annals but from a 2006 column by Seattle-based union sex columnist Dan Savage. It means a the person should strive to be good in bed, give it to the partner and play for anything – within reason. ”She finds that counseling couples from different communities allows her to cross borders, for example by encouraging more“ vanilla ”couples to embrace the openness of the evil community Let me clarify this is about the state of mind, rather than suggesting sexual practices that they are not comfortable with!

So what does all this mean? Well, Dr. Nelson, who trains sex therapists, sees that more than a handful of therapists, there is general progress being made. She says that “as we get more and more very good couple therapists in the field of sex therapy, it extends the terrain and we get more crossover. And that can’t happen soon enough. With sex being an integral part of a relationship, at least in many couples, it’s a wonder the disciplines have been so separate for so long. It’s time for sex to take center stage in relationship counseling.

Images: Fotolia; Giphy (4)


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